My second ER trip and new ED problems

January 23, 2008 at 1:26 am (Eating Disorder, Health, Rants) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Yesterday I went in for a follow up at the doctor’s office. My pain had gotten worse, my left kidney had started hurting bad, and I was severely dehydrated. Guess what? I get sent BACK to the ER. Only three days after going there initially. The doctor had run the usual tests (needle hole three in my right arm) and I came up showing infection in my blood lab and blood and infection in my urine. So over to the emergency room she sends me. I had the quickest triage interview ever before they took me back to a tiny little room. Kenny was with me and I knew he wouldn’t be happy spending the better part of the day sitting around, but that’s what he gets for having a very unhealthy girlfriend. They immediately start IV fluids, which always sucks. But I’m used to needles. Anyway, they take their own specimens and send me over for a CT. Apparently I had crystals in my urine when I was there Friday (which they neglected to mention because the UTI was the bigger concern) but this time my urine there was fine, although it had been really bad only a few hours earlier. The only thing was ketones, which is nothing new for me. Anyway, my CT was clean (they wanted to check for kidney stones because of the pain and crystals in the urine) so they basically didn’t know what to tell me except to keep taking the antibiotics. And drink lots of fluids, even if they make me sick. I’ve been using the laxatives since Friday (doctor’s recommendation) and I’m concerned that could become problematic with the eating disorder. I know they only cause loss of water weight, but it’s not that. It’s that empty feeling they give me. And I know I’m hurting myself. I’m not sure how to explain it. It’s like with the diet pills. I know they’re both unhealthy and don’t work, but it’s all mental. Good thing I see the therapist later. Because I’m not doing too well. Hopefully my kidney infection will clear up, I won’t actually have kidney stones, and I’ll be able to stop the laxxies before I mess myself up even more.


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My visit to the ER Friday.

January 21, 2008 at 2:08 am (Health, Rants) (, , , , , , , , , )

Friday morning I went for the walk-in clinic at my doctor’s office. For a few days I was having severe abdominal pain and a low grade fever. When I got back, the nurse did her usual stuff then left, leaving me with a small glass of water to drink, for the urine sample. By the time the doctor came in, I was lying on the table, dizzy, pale, sweaty, etc. I finally got with it enough, explained my symptoms. He did a physical examination then ordered X-rays of my abdomen and a trip to the lab. So I do all that and go back to the exam room, after a stop at the bathroom for their other sample. He comes back in. I didn’t like the look on his face though. He tells me I’m not pregnant (no surprise) and my tests show no sign of infection. My X-rays looked fine too. So he basically has no idea what’s wrong with me. He’s concerned that it might be my appendix and he sends me straight to the ER. Lucky me, the doctor’s office is located in the hospital complex, so it’s just a short wheelchair trip over there. I call my mom, then get in line for triage. When they get me back, they take all the samples again for their own analysis. Long story short, I get diagnosed with a severe UTI and dehydration. Which figures. So with antibiotics, anti nausea pills, and instructions to drink more fluids, I get sent home. By today (Sunday), my left kidney is so painful I’m doubled over half the time, I can’t keep anything down, my fever’s spiked, and the abdomenal pain hasn’t gotten better. So I’m going back to the doctor tomorrow, and I hope they can finally get this figured out and taken care of, because at this point, I think I’m extremely sick.

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My ED sob stories.

October 29, 2007 at 3:37 am (Eating Disorder, Rants) (, , , , , , , , , )

I guess this is the blog where I get to tell some of my sad stories related to eating disorder. If you’re reading this and have an eating disorder or have watched a loved one suffer, I have no doubts you can relate. In fact, you can feel free to share your own either publicly or you can always email me. So here goes:

The first one I’ll share is when, shortly before going into the hospital (I think actually the week before) my dad had to go to the mall to have work on the van. So of course I tagged to shop and admittedly have a good excuse to walk more. As we were getting ready to leave, he asked if I wanted to go out do dinner. It was just one of those moments when my entire body froze up. Do I say yes? That would mean I actually get to do something with my dad but I’d have to struggle through eating. Not only eating, but doing it in front of an entire restaurant full of people. Do I decline? Doesn’t that just mean I miss out on a rare opportunity because of some stupid quirk of mine? (Yeah, I always just called it my quirk.) I decided we should go to Bahama Breeze. Anyway, I’m not getting into my food choices but I did manage to eat a little and surprisingly enjoyed myself. The thing is, I don’t get to do a lot of things with my dad, so that was something special, and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to fight to make it count for something good. But there was still that stupid voice in my head the entire time, distracting me some from what should have been an awesome father/daughter dinner.

My next one’s similar, except with my boyfriend at Olive Garden. And he wasn’t passive/in denial that there was something wrong with me. The night ended up in tears on both sides.

During my stay IP, my grandfather in Florida (whose health had been rapidly declining anyway) died. Instead of a family session, I got time to sob with my dad and brother. My mom was at the airport picking her parents up (they were coincidently visiting from Germany). So I get to go on leave for one grandfather’s funeral.

Which kinda leads me to the next bad thing. The German grandfather snapped a picture of me on our way back (stupid picture won’t upload correctly), right before they dropped me off again before all heading home. I got out right before they flew back home. It ended up being the last time I saw Opa because he died of an aneurism back in early July. So yeah, the last time he sees me is during/right after coming out of treatment. And while we were over there for the funeral my cousin was telling me how worried he had been about me. Apparantly he talked about that a lot.

That’s a crude rundown of the sad stuff that comes to mind right now. Not too eloquently stated, but I still think you understand the point. There are SO many more stories I could tell… fights with boyfriend, family friends… mean comments from complete strangers. But I guess these are the ones that really hit hard. Anyway, I think sometime later I’ll tell a few happy stories. About the makeover I got from Michelle, and seeing Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D!!!

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